"Explains Git so often, probably dreams in commit messages"
"So passionate about system design, probably tries to optimize their grocery shopping with distributed algorithms"
Both are so true!
And on a more serious note, "Will develop an open-source journaling platform focused on grief support and mental health" sounds like an amazing project to dive into. Possibly, deepseek, possibly...
While girls are looking at planet alignments and star constellations for zodiac signs, we nerds get hi-tech informed astrology... complete with a horoscope at the end, hehe.
- Spends so much time talking about Zig that even their keyboard autocorrects 'big' to 'zig'
- Has probably spent more time configuring Nix than actually using the software installed with it
- Could write a PhD thesis on build systems but still can't build a consistent sleep schedule
A seasoned CTO with 20+ years of experience who bridges the worlds of pure functional programming and mainstream C# development through their popular language-ext library.
Their technical expertise is uniquely complemented by a deep background in music production and DJing, bringing an interesting perspective to discussions about both code and audio technology.
# Roast
Spends so much time trying to make C# functional, they probably write their shopping lists as immutable monadic sequences
Has more vinyl records than successful attempts at explaining monads to OOP developers
The only person who gets equally excited about LINQ query syntax and jungle music track listings
I chuckled. I also feel pretty hurt. All in all, with exception of 2025 predictions, hits pretty close to target ( I am a chronic procrastinator ).
My roasts:
- Their debugging skills are so sharp, they can find a bug in a single line of code… with the help of ChatGPT, of course!
- If their HN alias project doesn't pan out, they can always start a support group for EM-DOSBOX enthusiasts.
- They’re so into retro gaming, they might just emulate their entire career in 8-bit.
Predictions for 2025:
The user may start a recurring series on HN, sharing findings from their alias analysis project.
That Roast was EXTRA toasty. Love it. The second one was WAY off base though. I've only used MacOS. The other two were super appropriate though.
Roast
Claims to be a full-stack developer but probably spends more time organizing their Magic: The Gathering cards than organizing their code repositories
Complains about Linux audio issues for 16 years straight but still hasn't switched to Mac - that's some commitment to suffering
Says they can do both frontend and backend but their true specialty is writing sarcastic comments about tech trends
I think mine is basically just complimentary, heck yeah. It's certainly accurate. The 2025 predictions are wrong but certainly reasonable.
> A Go enthusiast passionate about efficient testing and DevOps, who loves sharing knowledge and book recommendations, and isn't afraid to discuss workplace dynamics.
> A tech enthusiast with a passion for efficient development tools and aviation, this user brings a mix of technical depth and societal insights to Hacker News. Their contributions often reflect a curiosity for how things work and a desire to optimize processes.
Pretty good take. This roast was a good guess :)
> Your love for aviation is so strong, you probably have a sectional chart as your desktop wallpaper. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you prefer VFR over IFR.
This HN user is a passionate advocate for ethical AI and SEO practices, with a keen eye for cybersecurity threats. They regularly share insightful stories and comments, often sparking deep discussions on the intersection of technology and ethics.
I loved the positive roast:
This user loves Google so much, they even forgive it for shadow banning their content!
If SEO were a sport, this user would be the champion, but their articles are so long, they need a table of contents!
Absolutely love this project -- great job. Remarkably insightful from just a bit of input -- would love to point this at Twitter profiles.
Roast: They know so much about ancient history, it's like they lived through it!
Prediction: The user might embark on an AI-driven archaeology project, blending their passion for history with machine learning.
>Spends so much time with SQL Server that probably dreams in T-SQL and wakes up in a cold sweat about missing indexes
>Has stronger opinions about database migration strategies than most people have about their favorite foods
We need to invade China to put an end to this abomination.
You're a seasoned freelance software consultant with a deep passion for C++ and computer vision. Your contributions on HN are a mix of technical insights, career advice, and a sprinkle of humor, making you a well-rounded and respected member of the community.
It’s interesting because mine weighed my recent comments way more than anything. It referenced specific discussions that I do not generally have as my main traits.
I was floored. I shared it with my wife (also a software engineer, not on HN). Laughter, a “brutal” roast, and “pretty accurate” predictions according to the one who knows me best. :)
This is a fun use of the technology :). Though it got the Rust thing wrong; I actually hate it and often comment about C++ superiority. It's likely the model doesn't quite get sarcasm or is weighing heavily on the title of the post rather than the comment content.
>>>
Profile Summary
This user is a passionate advocate for privacy and a critic of corporate data practices, often challenging the status quo and pushing for more transparent and user-controlled solutions. They frequently discuss AI, local computing, and the importance of ethical tech practices.
Roast
It looks like this user's love for Rust is only rivalled by their love for roasting Apple. Maybe they'll start a support group for fellow Apple critics?
With all the talk about local AI and self-hosted solutions, it's a wonder this user doesn't have their own personal cloud yet. Maybe they're just waiting for the perfect moment to launch their own 'private' empire.
This user's comments are so detailed, it's like they have a PhD in Privacy. Maybe they should start a blog to share all that knowledge—or better yet, a book!
My god, that Roast section is a wonderful addition. I got the best laugh in weeks out of it.
Mine:
>Roast
>Spends so much time worrying about privacy that their tin foil hat probably has better specs than their Linux machine
>Claims to hate algorithmic content but probably spent 3 hours carefully curating their YouTube feed
>The type of person who would write a 5000-word essay about why they're leaving Apple's ecosystem instead of just... leaving
The last part is almost too real. Soon, hopefully...
"Explains Git so often, probably dreams in commit messages"
"So passionate about system design, probably tries to optimize their grocery shopping with distributed algorithms"
Both are so true!
And on a more serious note, "Will develop an open-source journaling platform focused on grief support and mental health" sounds like an amazing project to dive into. Possibly, deepseek, possibly...
“Claims to hate closed ecosystems but probably posted this from an iPhone”
Stop knowing me
My personal roast was ``Kagi user here, where's the search result for my missing sense of humor?''
And that's probably the funniest thing anyone's ever said about me.
EDIT: worked for me, now :D very interesting. using your tools profile summary as my bio now.
JSON.parse: unexpected character at line 1 column 1 of the JSON data
hugged to death already :(
Mine reads « Unexpected token 'W', "Webhook er"... is not valid JSON » #WIP
fixing, look like we're hitting token limits :(
ayy! :( no worries, take your time. looking forward to trying it out...
> Claims to be interested in efficiency but wrote an entire essay about why they can't learn Vim because of their German keyboard layout
Damn. Deepseek got me.
> Spends so much time explaining why AI isn't magic that they could've probably trained their own LLM by now
It got me lol.
Well done.
Loved the roast: "Spends so much time automating their cat's litter box, we're wondering if the cat is actually the one writing the code".
While girls are looking at planet alignments and star constellations for zodiac signs, we nerds get hi-tech informed astrology... complete with a horoscope at the end, hehe.
I'd love to see your code, if you wouldn't mind sharing it. I'm curious how to get started building a project like this.
"You've posted so many LLM-related stories, GPT-4 probably uses you as a training dataset"
i am flagging this post
I can't get mad at this, it's so spot-on.
"Predictions for 2025 Personal Projects
Will start working on a novel semantic search engine for Chinese literature, combining their interest in both Chinese culture and search technologies"
Oh wow, I've been working on this for the past two months and haven't posted about it yet.
Mine roast:
- Spends so much time talking about Zig that even their keyboard autocorrects 'big' to 'zig' - Has probably spent more time configuring Nix than actually using the software installed with it - Could write a PhD thesis on build systems but still can't build a consistent sleep schedule
:D
This was too good, especially the roast!
# Profile Summary
A seasoned CTO with 20+ years of experience who bridges the worlds of pure functional programming and mainstream C# development through their popular language-ext library.
Their technical expertise is uniquely complemented by a deep background in music production and DJing, bringing an interesting perspective to discussions about both code and audio technology.
# Roast
Spends so much time trying to make C# functional, they probably write their shopping lists as immutable monadic sequences
Has more vinyl records than successful attempts at explaining monads to OOP developers
The only person who gets equally excited about LINQ query syntax and jungle music track listings
lol, that's savage. I hope it was resonant at least :D
It’s way too accurate! :D
I also own over 10,000 records, so …
I chuckled. I also feel pretty hurt. All in all, with exception of 2025 predictions, hits pretty close to target ( I am a chronic procrastinator ).
My roasts:
- Their debugging skills are so sharp, they can find a bug in a single line of code… with the help of ChatGPT, of course! - If their HN alias project doesn't pan out, they can always start a support group for EM-DOSBOX enthusiasts. - They’re so into retro gaming, they might just emulate their entire career in 8-bit.
Predictions for 2025:
The user may start a recurring series on HN, sharing findings from their alias analysis project.
It told me F# is my favorite language and I am personally offended by that.
That Roast was EXTRA toasty. Love it. The second one was WAY off base though. I've only used MacOS. The other two were super appropriate though.
Roast Claims to be a full-stack developer but probably spends more time organizing their Magic: The Gathering cards than organizing their code repositories
Complains about Linux audio issues for 16 years straight but still hasn't switched to Mac - that's some commitment to suffering
Says they can do both frontend and backend but their true specialty is writing sarcastic comments about tech trends
I'm getting a string did not match expected format error.
Should work again.
Same
same here
I think mine is basically just complimentary, heck yeah. It's certainly accurate. The 2025 predictions are wrong but certainly reasonable.
> A Go enthusiast passionate about efficient testing and DevOps, who loves sharing knowledge and book recommendations, and isn't afraid to discuss workplace dynamics.
(the roasts are too lame to reproduce here)
https://hn-wrapped.kadoa.com/peterldowns
> A tech enthusiast with a passion for efficient development tools and aviation, this user brings a mix of technical depth and societal insights to Hacker News. Their contributions often reflect a curiosity for how things work and a desire to optimize processes.
Pretty good take. This roast was a good guess :)
> Your love for aviation is so strong, you probably have a sectional chart as your desktop wallpaper. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you prefer VFR over IFR.
Man you did a great job! :D
This HN user is a passionate advocate for ethical AI and SEO practices, with a keen eye for cybersecurity threats. They regularly share insightful stories and comments, often sparking deep discussions on the intersection of technology and ethics.
I loved the positive roast:
This user loves Google so much, they even forgive it for shadow banning their content!
If SEO were a sport, this user would be the champion, but their articles are so long, they need a table of contents!
>Spends so much time comparing modern tech to Byzantine history, probably thinks JIRA is the modern equivalent of Roman bureaucracy
It knows me too well.
Absolutely love this project -- great job. Remarkably insightful from just a bit of input -- would love to point this at Twitter profiles.
Roast: They know so much about ancient history, it's like they lived through it! Prediction: The user might embark on an AI-driven archaeology project, blending their passion for history with machine learning.
This is based on comments from the last, what? Day? Week? It's clearly not scoped to all time or even the past year.
It takes the last 75 posts and comments for performance reasons. Going to improve this.
Or like the first page on your comment list.
I think it doesn't use the whole post history because HN API is too limited/slow.
I mean HN API allows this, but requires to fetch every comment by using a different HTTP request, which makes bulk loading impossible?
>Spends so much time with SQL Server that probably dreams in T-SQL and wakes up in a cold sweat about missing indexes >Has stronger opinions about database migration strategies than most people have about their favorite foods
We need to invade China to put an end to this abomination.
Spot on - "Thinks every problem can be solved with either a free market solution or a robot" :)
Pretty much on point. I liked it.
You're a seasoned freelance software consultant with a deep passion for C++ and computer vision. Your contributions on HN are a mix of technical insights, career advice, and a sprinkle of humor, making you a well-rounded and respected member of the community.
Unfortunately it gives me
Error Unexpected token 'W', "Webhook er"... is not valid JSON
It’s interesting because mine weighed my recent comments way more than anything. It referenced specific discussions that I do not generally have as my main traits.
> Talks about remote work so frequently, they probably have a 'You can't make me go to the office' t-shirt collection
Not a bad guess! This was fun, I enjoyed reading my profile it produced. Thanks for sharing!
I'm like 90% sure that dang's Wrapped is cached at this point haha.
> Their love for self-hosting might just lead to a homelab that outgrows their house.
Real
>If HN had a 'Most Likely to Discuss AI' award, you'd win it every year. >You must have a PhD in AI and politics from the University of HN.
Cheeky little bastard. Love the project. Good job!
Not bad but could have more variety? https://hn-wrapped.kadoa.com/luke-stanley
I was floored. I shared it with my wife (also a software engineer, not on HN). Laughter, a “brutal” roast, and “pretty accurate” predictions according to the one who knows me best. :)
Hilarious. This was brilliant, thanks. And eerily, eerily poignant.
Really well done, and I'm really impressed with the R1 output as well.
Not really sure if this is a roast or a compliment though:
> Your AI critiques are so sharp, OpenAI might start paying you to stop.
Love the UI as well.
Roast:
> With their deep knowledge of piracy, they might just consult for a streaming service next!
> Spends so much time looking for UI design tools that they could've learned actual design in the meantime
Ouch! This is really well done. :)
> Spends so much time optimizing home automation that they probably need to automate touching grass
Too personal. Had a great laugh, thanks :D
"Will create a Show HN post that reaches #1, showcasing a developer tool that simplifies the modern web stack"
It knows me so well.
This is incredible.
HOW IS IT THIS SPOT ON. OMG.
Note: username is case sensitive.
Roasted: When you write JavaScript, it's like poetry — except when it's prose. Then it's just code.
hn profile to ip mapper
I needed this so much....I'm glad that you made this and that Chinese decided to open source it.
> Has probably spent more time configuring Linux than actually using it
Wow I feel personally attacked ha
Probably a broken record in this comment thread but it was pretty damn accurate...
Definitely give it a go.
> Their Raspberry Pi collection is so extensive, it's starting to look like a fruit stand!
Lol :D
Oh I wish I had a bunker full of offline Wikipedia copies and DOS games...
This is fantastic.
My roast: If comments were code, yours would be the longest PullRequest ever!
Noted.
wow it knows me so well!
This is awesome!! Seems to know me better than myself:)
Summary: Great
Roast: Confusing
Top 3 tech: Nailed it
Predictions: 0 out of 4, and horrifying to consider
haha. saving it as pdf-with-timestamp.. Will check in few months the pro-gress/re-gress - my psychoanalysis-for-free!
> Your idea of a perfect date is explaining why everyone should run their own email server
That is the price for living in a better world!
I have a young account because I forgot the pwd of my old one and that is probably because for my old account it says...
> You probably use a flip phone and tin foil hat to avoid big tech surveillance
...I didn't provide a mail info for HN, famously part of big tech.
This is awesome, and oh so on target :)
It seems like a very positive robot, so I like that. I'd have more to say about it if it insulted me though. Make it meaner please!
Well done! Immediately interesting.
Quality roast. I feel seen. lol. :D
> Maintains a homelab that could probably power a small country, just to run Jupyter notebooks
> Claims to hate over-engineered solutions while running a water-cooled PC 'monstrosity' - irony much?
> Probably spends more time optimizing server configurations than actually using them
I literally have no comeback to any of them. Cheers for this laugh. :D
"Spends so much time critiquing AWS pricing that Jeff Bezos probably has a dedicated team monitoring their comments"
"Has stronger opinions about Putin than most people have about their favorite programming languages"
Summaries for Russian troll accounts are like
Yeah, great.This is a fun use of the technology :). Though it got the Rust thing wrong; I actually hate it and often comment about C++ superiority. It's likely the model doesn't quite get sarcasm or is weighing heavily on the title of the post rather than the comment content.
>>>
Profile Summary
This user is a passionate advocate for privacy and a critic of corporate data practices, often challenging the status quo and pushing for more transparent and user-controlled solutions. They frequently discuss AI, local computing, and the importance of ethical tech practices.
Roast
It looks like this user's love for Rust is only rivalled by their love for roasting Apple. Maybe they'll start a support group for fellow Apple critics?
With all the talk about local AI and self-hosted solutions, it's a wonder this user doesn't have their own personal cloud yet. Maybe they're just waiting for the perfect moment to launch their own 'private' empire.
This user's comments are so detailed, it's like they have a PhD in Privacy. Maybe they should start a blog to share all that knowledge—or better yet, a book!
This is hilarious https://hn-wrapped.kadoa.com/monero-xmr?share
> Sounds like someone who would write a 5-page essay on why we should go back to Windows 2000's interface
Spot on ;)
"Claims to understand complex genetics but probably can't explain why their houseplants keep dying"
Shit. Has deepseek cracked AI humor?
Does it say the same for everyone in order to people please?
Nope. Has high expectations for you! My HN prediction is much more boring (but still feels very appropriate for me).
> Will become a go-to voice for balanced, pragmatic discussions about AI capabilities and limitations
I will say though that two of the predictions are eerily spot on and I haven't posted anything related to them.
> Will launch a specialized AI consulting service focused on helping traditional businesses implement domain-specific LLM solutions
> Will deep dive into cognitive science and its applications in AI, particularly around heuristic learning models
Nope. Here's mine:
Predictions for 2025
- Personal Projects
Will create a custom D&D campaign management tool combining their software expertise with their tabletop gaming passion
- Technologies
Will transition away from Java/TypeScript and dive deep into Rust or Go for systems programming
- Knowledge Growth
Will become more involved in tech ethics discussions, particularly around AI regulation and worker rights
- Hacker News
Will start contributing more technical deep-dives about gaming technology and distributed systems